A Mother’s Day – it is. Happy – it can be.

Mother’s Day has to be the most emotion-filled nationally recognized day of the year. Perhaps not for everyone. But, to me, it seems like it must be.

I’ve only personally celebrated 5 of these special days. Sure some of them were filled with delightfully handprinted cards and banana breakfasts in bed (orchestrated by my ever grateful and special husband).

But yet, of the five, one was spent rushing a 3 year old daughter to an ER and then a PICU from a copperhead bite.

Another one was spent alone in a quiet home with only the sobs of my grieving heart as my precious baby’s body passed from mine after a pregnancy that was far-too-short, but so greatly desired.

On this day for Mothers to be happy.

So many women long for the time to be able to celebrate this day. (“Can I stand with the other mothers in church if I’m still *only* pregnant?”)

So many women dread it. (“Do I stand with the other mothers in church if I’ve only ever been pregnant?”)

Some despise what it means for so many others – because their own mothers weren’t what they wanted.

Sometimes the emotional pain and dread I fear for this day makes me curl up in bed and not want to do anything. Even weeks before this Mother’s Day was due to arrive.

But, I wanna be real for a second here. Because, I’ve learned in the last 362 days since my Mother’s Day loss last year, that there aren’t too many women that still have a beautiful “innocence” of motherhood as I call it. For them, Mother’s Day isn’t just about sentimental gifts made in Kindergarten and a special day off from cooking.

How can you be happy when you have more children in Heaven than you have here?

How can you be happy when now, perhaps for the first time, you have children who are no longer here to feel your love for them?

How can you be happy when your heart’s desire is to change terry cloth onesies and diapers – but all you’re changing on Monday is fertility supplements?

How can you be happy when your older child has you (and your tears, your prayers, your love), but you’re not even sure if, on this day, they will want to call you their Mom?

These questions thunder deep in my heart these long afternoons. I see new photos of my sweet baby Kyle that I haven’t allowed my eyes or my heart to see, and I feel the sense of loss all over again. As if he was just taken from my arms this day. His tiny hand out of mine. The hope of his healing here on earth gone. The minutes he didn’t move felt like hours – and during each one the hope I had of his healing, of his being alive, drained from my heart. And the hours he didn’t move over that weekend turned to tears that carried that hope from my eyes to my hands.  And I sat there in a crowded shopping mall. Numbly making phone calls and arrangements for my girls while people around me had no idea of what I was carrying.  The new maternity sweater I had worn once the night before – the last time I had felt him move – had to be returned. But I couldn’t do it. Couldn’t even walk near the store. My heart was so much heavier than my womb.

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire is fulfilled, it is a tree of life.” 

Mary, the sister of Lazarus, who walked with the very person of God was sick with grief. Grief of lost expectations, a lost brother, a lost friend, lost hope.

And “When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled.” Not because He had lost a dear friend. But because He saw the hurt of sweet Mary. “Jesus wept.” Some around them even asked the hard questions.  “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man also have kept this man from dying?”

Jesus never rebuked them for their grief. He never rebuked them for their questions. In fact their grief moved him so much to weep himself. He feels our hurts. He hurts for us. He said this thing to Mary. “Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?”

But perhaps that believing is the hardest thing yet.

Believing that God is in control. That God is indeed bigger than any of us. And our dreams. And our plans. And our desires.

My girls and I quote a verse often “For I know God can do ANYTHING…” 

but saying and believing are two different things entirely.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

A woman, who believes her baby will be born within the next nine months healthy and strong. She has hope. She has joy in believing.

A woman, who believes her family’s future is already planned in God’s mind. And His mind is set on Heaven, not on things on this Earth. Her family is just getting an early start there. She has hope. She has joy in believing.

A woman, who believes through the Spirit’s power, she can be a God-glorifying vessel to show God’s light to her own children, despite the past example she grew up with. She has hope. She has joy in believing.

A woman, who believes her heart and her future is tenderly held in God’s hands. And that because of that belief she can hope for the joy of children. She has hope. She has joy in believing.

A woman, who believes all little children are God’s children and can be her children. And loves them all.

She has hope. She has joy in believing.

God says, “Look to me. Watch what I can do.” (Micah 7:7)

Perhaps a Mother cannot solely be defined as a female who births a child. But instead, perhaps, as some explain, the definition is rather difficult to compose — “Because of the complexity and differences of a mother’s social, cultural, and religious definitions and roles, it is challenging to specify a universally acceptable definition for the term.”

So perhaps a woman, who loves a child playing in the backyard, or anyone’s backyard, or one who loves a child playing in Heaven, or one who loves a child that hasn’t been given – yet, or one who loves a child that no longer reciprocates that love can still be called Mother. And can still be happy on this day.

Because she believes, and hopes, and loves.

“But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

–Romans 15:13, I Corinthians 13:13

The Fairy Garden Party (budget style!)

Oh boy, was this party a beautiful day full of fairy wings, glitter pixie dust, and…..zoo animals.

Thanks to a new blog friend, Erin, I had several ideas to choose from for this party.  And thanks to our local zoo, I had all the entertainment I needed to keep the 3 and 4 year old fairies occupied!  But because not every one has access to the awesome zoo – here’s the party photos to keep everyone inspired.

So, I didn’t use my frappacino glasses for drinks this time. Just as vases for my dollar store silk flowers.

I didn’t have time to get helium in my balloons. So, a needle and some ($1.50) ribbon sewn through the tied part of the ($0.97/package) balloons made the perfect festive birthday garlands. Dollar store tablecloths that I layered for extra color effects and tied up in corners with ($2.50) rolls of tulle added to the girly magic.

Now, for the FOOOOOOOD!

These were chocolate chips, a little extra frosting from the cake, vanilla wafers, and hershey kisses.

These honey bees were downright awesome. Here’s the recipe I used.

Some cherry tomatoes cut in half and a couple of cheese sticks were all I needed to make these cute little edible mushrooms.

Hee hee. Funny story. The “caterpillar-snake-fruit-wands” were quite the adventure for my mom, my sister, and I. When I couldn’t find good looking watermelon to make the stars I wanted, we improvised with strawberries. Thinking, “caterpillars would be adorable!” They kinda ended up looking like snakes though. This is what they were supposed to be.

So kids’ parties are full of sugar as it is. So for my punch, I do 100% juice, in a “matching” color to my theme, and water it down with club soda. And give it a cool name. Like Pixie Punch.

These were the adult’s favorites for sure. This is the recipe I used for these.

Hee hee hee.

We had peanut butter and blackberry jam sandwiches and cheese sandwiches  - the birthday fairy’s favorites!

And now, time for the fairies to join us after their little walk through the zoo.

Boy were they excited!

The first stop was the Fairy dress-up station where the party goers got their wings and pixie dust.

This is where the magic happened for my little birthday fairy. She loved watching her little friends transform into magical fairy creatures.

Including herself!

Next the girls picked out their party food and enjoyed their lunch together.

Then the cake….

The tree trunk and tree top were rice crispy treats  molded into the correct shape, and covered in marshmallow fondant. The fairies are attached with simple floral stem wire I got at Hobby Lobby.

She’s not the best candle flame blower-outer. (I mean, really! This was only her fourth chance to practice!) So she got one candle. Big sis still had to help a little, much to the birthday fairy’s chagrin.

“No, Col-we. I’M gonna blow out the candle!”

“Now, I’m a princess fairy!” (but not until after having wings, a necklace, a tiara, and a red flower in her hair…)

– Special thanks to my lovely fairy queen mother and fairy sister for helping make this party such a super success.

It’s a good, Good Friday.

Because for us, we know that without this weekend of wonder and miracles, we’d never see our baby Kyle again. But I will. And it’s a cause for great excitement around our house this week.

From our family to yours, Happy Easter. He is risen. He is risen indeed.

- Thank you to Ann Voskamp for the wonderful Resurrection Garden idea.

It’s a Pizzeria!

Welcome back to Party Week here on KimzKitchen. I’ve had some parties in the archives to post about for awhile now, and thought I’d feature them all in the same week. I hope you’re not gaining as many pounds as I would be if I were really having all these parties in one week. If you’ve missed some of the fun, check out the Valentine’s party and the baby shower.

Next week will be some before and after photos of my January organizing project – that will be fun too, but parties are a great way to prequel that. So, this party, for my six year old budding chef, took place last October. It was SO FUN! All she wanted was to cook with her friends. This is what we came up with.

And truth be told, this was the simplest party ever. I mean, the kids made their own lunch, they played the games they wanted to, and they even filled their own treat bags. But shhhhh! Don’t tell any of the moms that showed up. They thought I did all that work!!

Every kiddo got their own apron (I used the apron Chloe already had as a pattern to cut out the fabric with pinking sheers (so no-sew!), then I quickly sewed on some red bias tape for the ties.

It took me about 75 minutes (and $8 worth of fabric) to make 12 of them.

Papa Murphy’s to the rescue – they provided these awesome pizza kits, already set up and ready to go for $3 a piece. And they gave me a “you’re-a-super-cool-person” discount, (or maybe it was a “you’re-about-to-have-12-kids-make-pizzas-at-your-house-and-we-feel-sorry-for-you” discount) so they were only about $2.40 a piece.

Why they were awesome – they came with sauce, cheese, and pepperoni all measured out, the dough already flattened, and on it’s own cooking tray. I <3 no dishes to wash!)

Chloe decided to take charge and give the kids directions on how to prepare their pizzas. She’s a good teacher.

While the pizzas were baking, the kids tried their hands at the Arcade “Room”. My husband built all these awesome silly games out of cardboard boxes.

The kids got tickets that they turned in later at the prize counter.

Thankfully, we had a lot of moms and aunts and uncles to help out.

Chloe’s Uncle gave the birthday girl a few extra tickets I believe. (I got these tickets at the dollar store – you can find them here, too.)

Once the pizzas were baked, it was time for lunch!

The kids having access to all-you-can-want parmesan cheese shakers (that I got for $1 a piece at Walmart) made the lunch quite the blast for them.

(See those glasses again? This could have also been called “100-uses-for-used-Frappacino-Bottles” week.

Chloe didn’t want a birthday cake this year – she’s not a huge sweets fan anyway. So when I suggested a Birthday Dessert Pizza, she jumped on the idea!

Next was prize table time. The kids used the bags that were at their spots at the table to put their prizes in. See? Filling their own treat bags. Hee hee hee.

The prizes were all dollar store finds that Chloe and I went shopping for the week before.  We selected things that were as brightly colored as we could.

Putting them in glass jars and trifle bowls and vases made them super visible (and I had all those glass things at home already.) The pinwheels were the biggest hit.

The birthday girl got a new bicycle (that she loves!) and a day spent cooking and playing with all of our family. I’d say it was a hit of a party!

A baby shower for my sister.

Seeing that it’s turning into Party Week here on KimzKitchen, I thought I’d feature a baby shower.

A few months back, my sweet little sister (the one with whom I share a bday, actually!) was pregnant with her first little boy. As hard as it was, I wanted to do a special shower for her. She was married pretty quick-like out of state with military obligations, so a wedding shower didn’t work out. So, this baby shower was a big deal for my other sister and I. It turned out pretty cute, I think.

Here’s a few photos from her day.

My mom, and my sister, and my nephew.

See, told ya I use these glasses for everything! These straws came from here.

(Super easy!) Doughnut Tower Instructions

Savory Mini Vegetable Quiche

Southern Grits Bar (Basics for Beginners Recipe coming soon)

Sunrise Punch

I was pretty nervous about gift-opening time. I still don’t do well with looking at baby boy clothes – and especially then, was absolutely terrified of watching this part of the shower.
Thankfully I was given a downright Heavenly idea of heading up a craft gift – which kept me supremely distracted, but also without being a distraction. 

Had to include this one – seeing little Kyle there ^ made me smile.

These little pirate faces will go perfectly in my nephew’s nautical nursery.

Everyone at the shower signed their own handprint pirate, so now my sister can remember the love shown to her that day.

I still have to send her the birth stats to put over on the side there…now that my house is organized, I should get on that.

A party day with my Valentines.

Valentine’s Day was going to be a pretty big day with a guest post going live on another blog, Kyle’s due date, and a plan for a big dinner night in with my husband that night.  I needed another distraction though. Well, maybe I didn’t. But I kinda did. And I love parties.

We started with a quiet breakfast. There’s just something about waking up to a decorated table that makes my girls excited. Well, that and drinking milk in martini glasses. Gotta love de-cluttering finds.

Heart Pancakes with strawberries – easy breakfast. *Whew!* Along with a handmade card from me, and roses from their daddy.

So, I’ve learned, if I want my girls to have a Valentine’s Party, I just have get to throw one.

Several gals from my church with little ones, and semi-big home schooled ones joined my girls and I for the “big” party at our church Thursday morning. (According to Chloe, breakfast was the “little” one.) It was a blast. But then anytime you have 13 kids from 2 months old all the way to 7 or so, it’s bound to be, right?

Starbucks frappacino bottles – these guys have been used for every party I’ve had in the past 2 years. I get my straws here.

What can I say? My girls are hopeless romantics.

We played a few games – “Make a giant stuffed animal pile relay” and “a Southern Snowball Fight”
(real creative names, huh?)

I can’t say enough about these paints – I LOVE them! They don’t drip, poison if eaten, stain if spilled, or make any sorta mess.

Make your own Valentine Mail Bags…

…Then fill them with Valentines for your friends.

Kyle’s Due Date

Today. Valentine’s Day.

I love my husband more than anything – so you think this post would be all about him. And I know that most likely Kyle wouldn’t have been born on his due date.

But I just can’t help but share his story again, today.

It just seems right.

Because the last roses I held I put on his grave.

So here it is. For me. For you. Kyle’s Story:

Good grief.

Sometimes I’m gathering up all my energy to cook a meal. Or sometimes I’m walking through a crowded IKEA store. Sometimes it’s at the park with my girls.

I never know when I’ll see something that will trigger memories of Kyle, or worse, my memories of my dreams of Kyle.

Sometimes I feel like it never happened – that it was all a bad dream – and that now I’m awake and I should go do dishes. Then, I open my freezer and bags of frozen breast milk fall out that I’m holding for a friend.

Kyle’s milk. it says, on the name line.

Then there’s those wretched anniversaries. For the one month anniversary, I was home for several days by myself – my husband was visiting his dying grandfather in Florida. He desperately didn’t want to leave, but I thought I’d be ok.

It’s incredible the things that go through your mind, the moments you relive, all because of silly numbers on a clock or on a calendar!

Every. Single. Memory. It all came back as if I were looking on again while it happened. I felt contractions. I remembered that blessed morphine dose I got to give me a break from the pain for an hour or two so I could get a visit from my girls. I remembered my sweet sister’s laboring over photos – that I still can’t look at. I remembered the tears that were shed by nurses on my behalf behind curtains and closed doors. I remembered holding him. And around the time he was born in my arms, 1:30 AM, I finally let myself fall asleep. Then when I woke up, I just wanted that moment – that awful moment – when I passed on his little body to the funeral home man to come and go quickly.

I had made plans with a good friend visiting from China to meet us at the park that day. Hoping it would keep me from being in terrible despair in my room all day. But, honestly, I didn’t feel like doing anything. Thankfully, my girls are very self-sustaining. They were completely happy to find a movie and their two favorite boxes of cereal.  I heard them talking… “Mommy’s still sad today, Kami. I’ll just get you breakfast today.” “OK! Col-we! Let’s just watch a movie!” “Kami, I can’t find any bowls. We’ll just have to eat the cereal like this, ok?”

Later that morning, Chloe came in and checked on me. I told her, “Chloe, Mommy’s gonna be really sad today. It’s Kyle’s one month day. But he’s not here to have a little party for him. So I just miss him.”

She gave me the prettiest smile and said, “Oh mom, how about we have a baby Kyle picnic, then, at the park? We can have a picnic and play and run. It can be a baby Kyle party.”

While that would probably get most mama’s hearts and turn them around for the better, I was beyond easy convincing at this point. “But, Chloe, Kyle won’t be there.”

Apparently, Chloe was beyond easy convincing too. “But Mom. It’s OK. It’s just a celebration. For Kyle. Cause he’s in Heaven. So it can still be good. And here….”
(She ran to the kitchen and grabbed some blue daisies another friend and delivered to my house the day before and brought them into my room.) “….we can just take these to him today at his flower place.”

My daughter is a genius. The other title for this post was going to be “(Not so much) Like Mother, Like Daughter.”

Chloe proceeded to make a picnic lunch. She’s quite the inventive cook. Peanut butter and rotisserie chicken sandwiches with lettuce? Hmm…..hey. At least they were triple deckers. This was one family outing I was happy to be on a diet.

Seeing those smiles and yogurt mustaches was just what I needed. It got my mind off the ticking minutes. And got my mind on what I had right in front of me. Two beautiful gifts I’ll never deserve. And sometimes I think they’re angels. I guess I’ve been blessed with a lot of angels.

Chloe even got a hopscotch lesson. And a spanish lesson. And a quarter.

Then it was off to what we call the “Flower Place”. Where in the place of harsh, cruel, death, even in January, new grass was growing. And I felt like it was somehow a picture of my heart. I was feeling a little bit of healing. A little bit of growth. And it had all been watered by my never ending flow of tears. Without those tears, without that death, that grass wouldn’t be there. And my heart would never have grown to a place where it would be able to feel like it does now.

So, while in the depths of difficult hard grief, I’m learning that even when I go through deep waters, God will be with me. When I go through rivers of difficulty, I will not drown. When I walk through the fire of oppression, I will not be burned up; the flames will not consume me – because God is my God.  So, my grief, while mostly terrible – is sometimes good.

 – Isaiah 43:2,3

Organizing and light-living.

I’ve been keeping my mind and hands busy this week – organizing. After basically 14 months of a seemingly never ending cycle of physical fatigue that looked something like: morning sickness/recovery over and over, my poor house has been in a state of “barely surviving”. When we walk into the pantry to pull out a loaf of bread, and a pack of batteries, along with a stack of paper plates (that I had forgotten we even had) falls on our heads – we wonder how we found the loaf of bread to begin with.

Oh, it’s semi-clean, but definitely my cleaning and organizing from day to day has been in a very mere maintenance mode.  Enough to keep the bugs out and my kids clothes clean. Needing something mentally and physically exhausting, but not so challenging I couldn’t manage in my barely postpartum state, this seemed to be the trick. I’ve decided to put my eyeballs on every square inch of floor space (and the cubic space above it) and make it spotless. I’m about a third of the way through now. We’ll see if I finish before the end of the month.

I found a few new solutions to some storage problems I’ve been facing for five years.

And I even snapped photos to show you. Because they just might make it to pinterest.

Oh, wait. I got the ideas from there. Nevermind.

But that’ll have to wait for later in the week.

Because I have more Kyle stuff to talk about. I know, I promised “not-so-teary-eyed” stuff. And this shouldn’t be. I just had to share, though.

This has been an interesting week – kind of a week between intense grief and grasping at normal. We started school again this week (Chloe, K5). Only another two weeks before we get to celebrate our “100 Day” in school. I can’t believe we’ve come this far after the year we’ve had. Chloe read several words out of our Bible this week – she was so excited about that! Now her children’s Bible has almost no interest to her. She’s doing so well. It seems she has wisdom and peace beyond her years – and has been such a comfort to us. Even during the Memorial service last weekend, she drew pictures on the programs we had printed for the guests.  If you look closely, you’ll see tears that she drew on our faces. She said these were “happy tears” though – because we “got to hold Kyle, and you were so happy you got to do that”.

Kami, though, has been struggling a bit more emotionally, it seems. She doesn’t want to go anywhere without one of us with her. To which we are happy to oblige. I’ll take all the kid-loving I can take right now. She talks about her brother all the time. She wants to go to Heaven. She asks “Is the flower place (the cemetery) Heaven?”

Our family is a one-car family, and she knows that if she wants to go anywhere to do something, it has to be on one of our 2 car days a week. Sometimes she forgets what days are which, so she always runs to the window to check and see if our car is in the driveway (which means it’s a car day for us) or if it’s gone (which means dad has it at work).

She checked outside the other day for the car, and saw it, and said, “Mommy! I just wanna take our red car and drive over seven mountains so I can get all the way up to Heaven and see Baby Kyle. Let’s go right now, please.”

Then there was the time that she said, tearfully, “Mommy, I didn’t get to give Baby Kyle a goodbye kiss and a hug.”

She was looking through my Bible at church this morning and flipped to the back where the various maps of the Holy Land in ancient times are located. She pointed to the full color images and said, “Mommy? Is this Heaven? I think it is. See the blue? That’s just the sky. And Heaven is behind it.”

Like Kami, Chris and I are trying to piece it all together in our minds, too. Sure, we’re surviving, kinda like our house. But we’ve never been closer. And I wouldn’t trade that for anything. But we’re also still hurting in our own ways.

Remember those lights I talked about awhile ago? We’re still getting them. And some of them are really bright.

We’re hearing from strangers all over who are being impacted by our son’s life. Really?  I had no idea 20 ounces of baby could make such a difference. But he is. And every time we hear from another dear hurting mother, or an OB nurse in another part of the country who is sharing our story with her patients, or we get another card or gift from a reader in the mail…it just lifts our spirits so much. (And thank you cards are coming – I promise!)

But the biggest light this week was from my doctor – the really awesome one who gave us all those ultrasounds whenever we wanted. We stopped by to see him Friday, just to check in and take him some pumpkin muffins. (Which, were awesome, btw. Those will be in a new post this week too. Seriously – no crumbs, because they were so moist, easy, delicious, not-to-sweet – maybe they’ll make it on pinterest…)

Anyway, he watched our video and wanted to show it to some of his doctor friends at a big meeting he has next month. Basically, he’s noticing that all of his patients who choose to carry their difficult and rather “doomed” pregnancies to their natural progression seem to fare immensely better emotionally afterwards then those who choose to terminate. (Note: I’m not saying here that our choice was one that was easy to make, or even the one that is always right in a situation like ours. It was just how God led us after several days of agonizing and praying over our options. For many women, this choice isn’t presented as an option.) He wants to get other doctors on board with him to make the choice to carry the pregnancy to term an option to their grieving mothers. And he wants to use Kyle’s story to help him do that?

I thought about the babies that my sweet Kyle’s memorial fund might help save in the next 32 months in South America. And those that perhaps now mothers might choose to save – who, even in light of yet another “incompatible with life” diagnosis, might have the same or greater impact our son is having. And the mothers who have lost before me, but have finally allowed themselves to grieve, and in turn, heal. Because our son, here on earth at least, wasn’t.

And when I think about those things, my day gets a bit brighter. My God seems a bit bigger. And my heart grows a bit warmer and stronger.

“Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things.” 

~ Ecclesiastes 11:5

My last letter to Kyle – and a special gift for you.

Dear Heavenly Father,

I just wanna tell you a couple of things about my little guy. You know everything there is to know about him – But I wanna still tell you anyway?

He loves sucking his thumb. I’m ok with that. I let my girls do that until they are around 4 or so. But you can let him do that as long as you want.

He loves kicking. I can only imagine how good he is at it now that both his legs will work well.

He was a snuggler. He’ll probably need a lot of hugs like his sister, Kami. He liked to smile, though, too. Whenever he ate. Another Kami-trait.

I have a lot of his milk in the freezer. I know You’ll make sure just the right tiny NICU baby receives it. I kinda hope it’s a boy that ends up with it.  And I hope his mama appreciates the love and warm tears that were sent with it. If my Kyle’s milk can keep another baby boy alive, though…Wow.

I love stars. I show his sisters the stars all the time. Maybe, if You end up making any more, You could let him help You?

Can you just tell him we miss him? A lot. Kami’s pretty upset that she didn’t get to give him “a goodbye kiss and a hug”.  So she kisses her Kyle bear quite a bit.

I got a new nephew yesterday. He’s cute. Like his aunt, of course.  I think I’ll kiss him twice every time I see him. Once for him and once for my baby boy. I can’t wait to kiss them both.

We love our Kyle. And a lot of other people do too. But because of him, a lot of people love You more. I know we do. So thank you.

Tomorrow’s Tuesday. For 20 weeks, I saw my baby every Tuesday. I won’t see him on Tuesdays anymore. And that makes Tuesdays really hard days for me here.  But I know You’ll carry me through Tuesday. And Wednesday. And the other days. Like you have the last 220 days (and all the ones before that). Thank you for not putting me down.

I’m so thankful to you for those days. I’m so thankful I could write him letters every week.  And, if I could write him another letter, it would simply say…

“Enjoy Heaven today, little guy. I know you’re well taken care of. And one day, I can’t wait to hear what you’ve been up to.  

I’ll see you again (not) soon (enough). Until then, know that I love you, and I always will. 

 XOXO,

Mom”

_______________________________

Below is the video we showed at Kyle’s Memorial Service this weekend. May it be a blessing to you as it was to all of us in attendance on Saturday. I appreciate you all so very much – and in a way, couldn’t have done this journey without your support and prayers. I’ll be blogging again – about not-so-teary-eyed things – starting next Monday, but will be taking the week off. May God bless this video, and you.