Celebrating Week 30!

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Well, I’ll be honest – I didn’t think I’d be here writing about this week. Way back at the beginning of this journey? There’s no way on earth we were supposed to have this many Bonus Weeks and days with our little man, but yet, again, here we are. (He’s kicking the life out of my placenta right now while I’m typing this, even!) And here you are, still, praying, watching, following, supporting our journey for life. And for Kyle.

I try not to overstate it, but thank you. From all five of us Rackleys.

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How far along? 30 weeks, 4 days.
Total weight gain/loss: + 25 lbs. (I’m so thankful for a little swelling relief from last week. 🙂
Maternity clothes? Those blessed jeans. (If I weren’t already married, I’d wear them to my own wedding I think.) And my new favorite dress. Although I’m doing a photo shoot next week in a formal (a non-maternity one) I wore 5 years ago. We’ll see how that goes.
Sleep: This was NOT the week for sleeping. Dealing with 5 different infections at once – the most painful being one that was untreatable – I spent many nighttime hours awake. Ashamedly, I didn’t handle this week with as much grace as I was given.
Best moment this week: Eating Whole Fruit popsicles. They took away the throat pain. 🙂 (And, they’re only 70 calories! *searching for coupons on ebay now*…)

Movement: Yeah. I think he enjoys being small – he has a lot more space to move around.

Food cravings: I haven’t been able to eat much at all this week due to the throat pain – but mashed potatoes and salty grits have helped a lot. So did the homemade chicken soup my sweet mother in love brought me.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Cloraseptic. I. Can’t. Take. It. Can’t do “Magic mouthwash” either.
Have you started to show yet: Yep – but I can still see my feet. feels kinda odd to be almost 31 weeks and still seeing my toes.

Gender Predictions: Working on his other name.

Labor Signs: Nope. Swelling went back to normal. And my contractions all stopped. Thankfully.
Belly Button in or out? IN
Wedding rings on or off? Back on the right hand!
Happy or Moody most of the time: Sadly, I’ve been rather moody. And extremely discouraged.
Weekly Wisdom: Viruses stink. So do their secondary virus infections. And then their third-iary bacterial infections. But they always feel worst at night and best in the morning.

Milestones: Kyle is (hopefully!) bigger than 1 pound, 5 ounces. (I’ll get a new weight on him tomorrow.)

Exercise: Nope. But I’m off bedrest. Well, except for being as sick as a grinch at a Christmas cantata concert that lasts three hours and then has an after party. So, I guess I’m still on bedrest. Just not because of swelling or contractions.

Weekly Prayer Request: Just pray that I keep feeling better. I know I’ve complained a lot on facebook and in my text messages. But this week has been tough. It kinda seemed like the straw that broke this camel’s back. I picked up an adenovirus that left me with a throat so sore, 1500 mg of tylenol wouldn’t touch it. And cloraseptic kept the pain away for (literally, I counted!) 10 breaths. Then, the virus – that I’ve been told is a 1-2 week virus – spread to my eyes. So, viral pink eye. This means, those awesome eye drops that work in about a day? Well, they do if you have a bacterial pink eye. I don’t. So 3-5 days it is. I can’t even touch my girls. 😦 but when it spread to my other eye – now it’s bacterial. So on the drops for that eye I go. Then, this weekend, because of the stuff just sitting around in my nose and my sinuses – a sinus infection…and possibly an ear infection too. I’ll get that checked out tomorrow. My voice is completely gone – whisper at best. I know so many people have things so much worse than we do. And I certainly don’t wanna make light of that.

But seriously? I’m like a walking cartoon for speak no evil, see no evil, hear no evil. 🙂 Or a miserable old female Grinch.

On that note, I do feel like I might be turning a corner – I even felt up to doing a little laundry and organizing Kyle’s little collection of gifts to take to the hospital last night while my family was at church. That was a big plus for sure. So thanks for your prayers. And the gifts. And the meals. And the notes to hang in there…and just for listening to this mama go on and on about how bad she feels. So yeah, even in the time it took to write this post, I feel better and better. So maybe the worst is behind me after all. 🙂

You all remind me that all is grace. And that it’s really not as bad as it seems. Because Kyle and I are still together. And he sure isn’t feeling sick. (“Stop that kicking! I’m trying to write, boy!”) 🙂

Hey buddy.

What a trooper you’ve been. Better than your mama for sure this week! You get that from your dad. He was my hero this week. He’s kinda my hero every week. But really this week, he showed quite a bit of “knight in shining armor” charm. I’m a lucky girl. And he didn’t complain. Unlike someone else in our house this week. (*ahem*) Because he is my greatest gift. Don’t get me wrong. I love you more than I ever thought I would at this point. (And no worries – you are definitely qualifying for “my smallest gift”.) And I love your sisters. But your dad…he’s my biggest grace. My biggest gift. I thought maybe I’d just tell you a bit about him.

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We finally came to a decision on your birth plan this week – with all the doctors, who called all the nurses, who read all the words. Our instructions of what to do with you. And your tiny little body. In so many tiny details. And they all seem on board with it. Our hope is that you’ll stick around long enough to meet us. And if you do, we promise to give you the best moments of an entire lifetime we can. For one, this biggest gift of mine can’t wait to get his hands on you. I wouldn’t be surprised if he makes you laugh even.

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Your dad isn’t a big one for whining. It’s not his favorite thing. But he does have quite a bit of compassion to go around when it’s needed. He showed it to me this week. He showed it to your sisters – they seem to whine about a few things from time to time. He’ll show that beautiful compassion to you if you dare cry in front of him. It usually works to calm everyone right down. Usually.

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He loves basketball. And soccer. In fact, he’s convinced that, not only will he play soccer again like he did in high school (he was pretty good!), but he’ll also be able to fit into his high school soccer cleats. They’re still in our closet. You have a few outfits. None of them have carolina blue on them. Only duke blue is allowed in our house. And on his boy. He’s good at anything computers. He’s pretty much good at everything computers. And he loves surfing the internet. We don’t have any kind of cable in our house right now. Really because we don’t have much time for it. But he sure does know a lot about a lot of things – because he loves surfing the internet. He really wanted to teach you how to play video games. He has a couple of favorites. Of course, I’d probably try to hold him off on doing that for as long as I could. But I’m guessing that by the age of 3, you’d be the best Halo player on this side of the Mississippi.

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He loves his girls. He knows how to treat us like princesses. In fact, he carries your sisters to bed most nights “like a princess”. I can’t tell you how many “sleeping beauty” kisses he’s had to give to some pretend sleepers on the couch. Your sisters want to marry him. Well, Kami does. But only if he’ll wear a fairy wing to the wedding. And Chloe might be changing her mind – now she kinda wants to marry the Nutcracker. But they’re out of luck. I got him. And I’d want you to be like him. Well, mostly like him. 🙂

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You know, this week he grabbed my hand, as I was crying tears from pink eye, and coughing up an adenovirus, and whining about my throat – in unmatching pj’s covered in the last gallon of OJ I had drank for the day – ie, in my most unattractive state of our entire marriage, I’m sure…

He grabbed my hand and said, “Every time I pray, I pray for you.”

When I complained, and then had to apologize (for the seventieth times seventieth time in one day), he said, every time. “Babe, it’s ok. I’m so so sorry you’re going through all this. I just want you to be happy. I’m gonna do whatever I can to help you. You just think about resting.

I hope you stick around long enough to meet your dad. Because I think he’ll say the same sorta things to you:

“Hey little guy. Every time I pray, I pray for you. I just want you to be happy. So you just think about resting.”

When he says that to you, I promise he means it.

I’ll see you soon. For now though – know that I love you another seven days’ worth! And I always will.

XOXO,

Mom

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Photography from Christmas 2011 by Rebecca Cerasani Photography. (Pssst! That’s my awesome sister!)

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About Kim

I am a sinner, miraculously saved by grace, living by faith, and pressing toward the mark of being more like Christ. I absolutely love being a stay-at-home mom! I'm also a caterer for a few weddings throughout the year, a baker, and a party planner. And I love to play in other people's kitchens as well as my own! My husband, Chris, just finished his studies for his MA degree in Pastoral Studies. He's a wonderful (and super smart!) daddy - and the most loving and supportive husband. My two beautiful daughters, Chloe and Kami, are the joys of our lives! We pray that they both would be greatly used of the Lord. Throughout their short time here on earth, we have learned so much about ourselves, our God, and the gratefulness we have towards our own parents, who raised us in the ways of God's Word. Our third unborn child is a blessing as well - even after its recent pre-diagnosis of Trisomy 18, or Edwards Syndrome. This blog has kinda turned into a little journal of sorts of our dark journey down this rather uncommon road. I stay busy cooking, cleaning, gardening, and raising the plants I killed back to life, and homeschooling. I blog when get the chance. :) We are always happy to have visitors, so please stop by anytime! Although, if you do give us a call first, we'll make sure to have some fresh cookies and sweet tea available when you arrive!

8 responses »

  1. That was so touching. I almost had to get a box of tissues. I admire you and pastor Chris. Yes it might have brought you down, but I can see how much faith you are putting in Christ.

  2. Now that’s just the sweetest thing I’ve ever read! And I read a lot of stuff these days! And the photos are beautiful and amazing how they capture the moments so well. Hope you are feeling much better and will be well soon. God bless!

  3. Just when I thought I might make it through one of your blog posts without crying – eh, that didn’t happen. Chris and Caleb are similar in that they hate whining, but are compassionate, too. I love the photos of you and Chris! 🙂

  4. Kim, thank you so much for sharing your posts, your love and thoughts. Today, I too thought I would make it through reading your blog without crying, but again, it did not happen. You see, I have this “pain issue” everyday, it makes me fatigued and could let it get me depressed, but then I think of you, Chris, the girls and baby Kyle and start praying for you and read your encouraging words even with all that you have going on and it is such an encouragement to me. Just knowing that we have a Heavenly Father who knows and completely understands it all and is going to helps us through it all. “His Grace is sufficient for me”

  5. Dear Kim, you have ministered to me so much through this journey. Thank you for being an amazing women of faith.

    Your sister captured some beautiful pictures of your family. What precious memories!!!

    Blessings to you.

  6. Kim, you always make me cry. I love reading your posts, they are so inspiring! I’m still praying for you all! And especially baby Kyle!

  7. Kim, you are such a blessing. It has been such a joy to get connected to you and your current path. You all are in our prayers. This post reminded me of my husband. He is such a servant. I am beyond blessed tone married to such a Christlike man….precious!

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