I’m so glad my last post in this two part series was able to help you laugh. I just love laughing. And we do so much of it at our house. My girls even do it in their sleep. (Seriously.) This month of July has been such a great chance for me to reflect on all the goodnesses we’ve been given. Thanks for humoring me and letting me a share a bit from my past journal entries.
Perhaps this post will get you laughing through your Monday. I wrote this way back when my girls were 2 and 4 years old. They looked a little like this. Although they look a lot more angelic here than I remember….
I wrote this out – purely for the purpose of the book I’m collecting stories in for the girls – when they have their own little…umm…angels running around their house.
If however, you are able to get a laugh out of it too, then perhaps there will be some other fun purpose in our afternoon at the Apple store after all. Which would make me feel better about the whole thing.
So….we went into the Apple Store at noon for our 12:10 appointment. (Yes, you make appointments with them so that you can get in and out quickly. Theoretically.)
At this point, I have to interrupt and give you a little background. One week before the following happened, my husband had just graduated with his Masters Degree. And I noticed a huge charge on our credit card statement. After a little digging, we realized that our 4 year old daughter had purchased an all-expense paid 4 day trip with airfare to Cancun through my Living Social app.
Yep. She did. (Hey – at least she’s a smart shopper!)
And three days later, I had been hit in the face by one of my girls with a doorknob (don’t even try to figure that one out – I promise you won’t get it right.) My eye was just starting to go through the many shades of blue and purple that such eyes-hit-with-doorknobs go through.
So – the week had been exciting, at least. Anyway back to the Apple Store and my 12:10 appointment.
Right away, I knew this would be quite the lengthy ordeal – a gentleman was trying to pay for an iPad with a check. And the Apple store couldn’t verify the gentleman’s funds because their ‘terminal was down’…and they “didn’t have the technology” to run his debit card numbers through their system.
The poor guy didn’t have a credit card on him, so he was kinda out of luck.
I felt sorry for him.
If I had an extra $666.74 lying around, I probably would have just paid for it for him.
But alas. My 4 year old had just spend our entire savings account for us. So I couldn’t.
Back to my story.
This gentleman and his “terminal issues” were taking up one of the two employees assigned to customers. I was in his line. The line next to me, which was quickly getting longer and longer, was filled with people who had to be checked in, and attended to.
Being the kind, patient person I am, I decided not to assert myself into that line, but rather wait patiently. I did, you know, have an appointment in 10 minutes after all, and surely the other associate would notice that I was standing there, controlling my two little ones, and would want to get us in and out as quickly as possible. Surely!
Nope. That line took 20 minutes to finish up. So, I missed my appointment – beeeeeee-cause I was standing in line to check in to my appointment.
Chloe really REALLY wants a Dora game – and I tell her “No, honey, not today, I’m sorry.” Chloe throws the game on the ground, and starts pouting.
“Hmmm…” I think. “This is new. Definitely should be addressed. BUT, I should probably wait to address self-control, patience, and contentment in a store that has at least 2 items in it that are priced under $600. That way if anything breaks….”
In the meantime….
Kami was trying to play with the iMacs they have set up for kids with games on them. Only problem was, they were all turned off. So, Kami decided to play ‘pretend typing’ on the keyboard. She suddenly got the idea that if the computers weren’t coming on, the only answer must be that the batteries were dead. (That is the only reason our MacBooks shut off when she’s playing it after all.)
So, started yelling “Mommy! The battery’s dead!”, and started bringing me the keyboard (you know, the wireless one that’s secured to the table with a security feature – one that trips the alarm when someone tries to take it off the table…)
Alarm goes off.
Big screechy metal gates on the doors in the front of the store come down.
Super busy, way behind store gets shut down for about 2 minutes while they secure the doors, realize nothing’s been stolen, and turn off the alarm.
Wow that could have been bad. I calmly get Kami…realizing right away what happened, but just hoping that by my totally calm demeanor no one else has any idea how fast my heart was beating at the thought of what my sweet little Kami that had caused.
I step back in line…
And an employee checks me in, “Yes, ma’am! What’s your name? Oh dear. I’m sorry, you’ve missed your appointment at 12:10. The system automatically bumps someone when they’re late. Can we make an appointment for you at a later time? What works for you?”
Yeah. That went over well.
Long story short, I get another appointment at 12:30 – which happened to be in 2 minutes.
Which is good, because Kami just pooped in her diaper. And Chloe told everyone. “Hey evwybuddy….my sister Kami…..”
*cue Prince-in-shining-armor music*
Chris walks in to take the girls to the play area. (He’s been following my texts and decided that this was too much for one poor woman to handle, I guess. His office was only 5 minutes away. Bless his heart.)
He says one thing as he wraps his strong arm around me:
“Wow! What’s that smell?!”
I finally get to the genius bar…and at 12:45, someone is available to help me out.
The nice Apple guy asked what I needed. I gave him my broken iPhone (“My kids did this.”), my broken case (“this happened when my kids…“), my broken earphones (“Yep, my kids did this too.”)…”Watch out for the mac n cheese on the screen there….I forgot to wash my kids’ hands last night before they started playing games.” Then, quietly and quickly I added, “Oh, and I’m sorry about that alarm a few minutes ago – that was my little girl, wasn’t it.”
He just as quietly nods then fixes my phone, gives me a new bumper and headphones, then asks for my credit card for my (relatively low, considering!) bill.
I pulled it out, but then I told him he’d have to wait a second because it was a new card, and I had to activate it. When he looked at me weird – I told him “well, see, my kids bought us a $1500 trip to Cancun last week, so we had to cancel our credit cards….I just got this new one in.”
At that point – the entire row of 6 people at the genius bar were listening to see what I’d blame my kids for next.
I can’t help but wonder what his reaction would have been if he then asked – “So, what happened to your eye?”
I’m pretty sure when I simply said, “Yep. Them,” he would have TOTALLY felt sorry for me.
I’m sure, though, that he already did – which is most likely the reason he gave me free headphones and bumper.