My daughter and I worked in the cold – there’s something about doing something for your brother you’ve never met, I think. So many people gave gifts – gifts to us, gifts to him – gifts to ease our burdens that paid for everything. in. full. Markers, medical bills, medicine orders. All of it. We thank you.
I had gone into Hobby Lobby the night before to look for the perfect flowers. Of course, my kids were tired from being at Granny’s all day. My husband was tired because…well, brain surgery patients are always tired. I was tired from just being. So “I’ll just run in and find what I need and be right out” was what I thought would happen. But then I got inside and stopped in my tracks and stared at the tall plumes of feathers and branches of flowers and thought “how on earth do you pick something for your son’s grave?”
I love to read. There are no books on this. No “Baby boy grave marker flower arrangements” pinterest boards. This was all me. And I couldn’t hurry. (Thankfully, my family, even in their exhausted states were very accommodating, and as we attempt to have a aura of non-rushing in our family, they didn’t think a thing of my taking a while to choose.)
I stepped up to the counter ring up my purchases, surprised that the tears welling up inside hadn’t yet fallen. And the young boy ringing up my purchases. For my son’s grave…said to me, “Wow, it’s been a long night. I can’t wait to go home. I’ve been here for 6 hours!” And I remembered back to a day so long ago when those sorts of things bothered me, too. And oh how I wish that those were my “only” trials now. Yet – in the time – those were big deals to me then. Just like buying flowers for my son’s grave was a big deal to me now.
We may measure our trials in make and magnitude. But God measures His grace to match.
We all have trials. Lack of sleep, failed expectations, lost jobs. They’re all big to each of us. But so His grace to get us through each one. It doesn’t make one person better than another or worse off than another. God’s grace is the great equalizer.
>>>So perhaps we should meet each person’s trial, whether those trials (or the people in them!) are big or small, with an equal level of compassion. Because that is love. <<<
I responded with something about how I hoped he slept well that night and thanked him for his attention to my selections. And headed to the cemetery.
Despite the cold, and the muddy ground, I wanted to put the flowers in myself. I’m so glad I did. Each flower is put in exactly the right place. The butterfly is just in the right place. His name, and his meaning to us in those 6 little words, ring louder to my heart than the thousands of words I’ve ever written.