Another labor full of love.

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My daughter and I worked in the cold – there’s something about doing something for your brother you’ve never met, I think. So many people gave gifts – gifts to us, gifts to him – gifts to ease our burdens that paid for everything. in. full. Markers, medical bills, medicine orders. All of it. We thank you.

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I had gone into Hobby Lobby the night before to look for the perfect flowers. Of course, my kids were tired from being at Granny’s all day. My husband was tired because…well, brain surgery patients are always tired. I was tired from just being. So “I’ll just run in and find what I need and be right out” was what I thought would happen. But then I got inside and stopped in my tracks and stared at the tall plumes of feathers and branches of flowers and thought “how on earth do you pick something for your son’s grave?”

I love to read. There are no books on this. No “Baby boy grave marker flower arrangements” pinterest boards. This was all me. And I couldn’t hurry. (Thankfully, my family, even in their exhausted states were very accommodating, and as we attempt to have a aura of non-rushing in our family, they didn’t think a thing of my taking a while to choose.)

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I stepped up to the counter ring up my purchases, surprised that the tears welling up inside hadn’t yet fallen. And the young boy ringing up my purchases. For my son’s grave…said to me, “Wow, it’s been a long night. I can’t wait to go home. I’ve been here for 6 hours!” And I remembered back to a day so long ago when those sorts of things bothered me, too. And oh how I wish that those were my “only” trials now.  Yet – in the time – those were big deals to me then. Just like buying flowers for my son’s grave was a big deal to me now.

We may measure our trials in make and magnitude. But God measures His grace to match.

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We all have trials. Lack of sleep, failed expectations, lost jobs. They’re all big to each of us. But so His grace to get us through each one. It doesn’t make one person better than another or worse off than another. God’s grace is the great equalizer.

>>>So perhaps we should meet each person’s trial, whether those trials (or the people in them!) are big or small, with an equal level of compassion. Because that is love. <<<

I responded with something about how I hoped he slept well that night and thanked him for his attention to my selections. And headed to the cemetery.

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Despite the cold, and the muddy ground, I wanted to put the flowers in myself. I’m so glad I did. Each flower is put in exactly the right place. The butterfly is just in the right place. His name, and his meaning to us in those 6 little words, ring louder to my heart than the thousands of words I’ve ever written.

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About Kim

I am a sinner, miraculously saved by grace, living by faith, and pressing toward the mark of being more like Christ. I absolutely love being a stay-at-home mom! I'm also a caterer for a few weddings throughout the year, a baker, and a party planner. And I love to play in other people's kitchens as well as my own! My husband, Chris, just finished his studies for his MA degree in Pastoral Studies. He's a wonderful (and super smart!) daddy - and the most loving and supportive husband. My two beautiful daughters, Chloe and Kami, are the joys of our lives! We pray that they both would be greatly used of the Lord. Throughout their short time here on earth, we have learned so much about ourselves, our God, and the gratefulness we have towards our own parents, who raised us in the ways of God's Word. Our third unborn child is a blessing as well - even after its recent pre-diagnosis of Trisomy 18, or Edwards Syndrome. This blog has kinda turned into a little journal of sorts of our dark journey down this rather uncommon road. I stay busy cooking, cleaning, gardening, and raising the plants I killed back to life, and homeschooling. I blog when get the chance. :) We are always happy to have visitors, so please stop by anytime! Although, if you do give us a call first, we'll make sure to have some fresh cookies and sweet tea available when you arrive!

2 responses »

  1. Love this and love your story, trials come and go through out our lives but it’s who we take with us that makes them tolerable at the end. So very thankful to have fun across you a year or so ago and been here to see what God had been able to accomplish because of Kyle. My faith is strengthened because of you, and now as my mother is diagnosed with lung cancer today I see this story and I know the I can do anything through Christ who gives me strengthen because of Kyle and your story, you have touched me beyond your comprehension and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing a very personal part of yourself! Love always Janis

    • Oh oh oh Janis, I am so sorry to hear of this. Please know that tonight your entire family is in my prayers. May God touch you all with a special measure of grace to face the long hard days ahead.

      Always look for lights.

      >

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