Week 37: Why I’ve been so quiet. (And a gift for two of you?)

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UPDATE!
Congrats to the winners! I’ve sent emails to your accounts – send me your shipping info and I’ll get those right out to you!
Angie B and Melissa (mel.3@xxxxxx.com)
To everyone else – your verses are all printed and ready for me to take into this crazy hard delivery. I appreciate it so very much. ❤ This community of support is just unreal. I'm so thankful.

So this thing called a "normal pregnancy" is so new to me. To the extent that it almost doesn't seem real?

In fact if I weren't at the point of needing more than one pillow at night and always adjusting the thermostat down down down down down….

I'd probably still be in denial that this is really happening.

The small aches and pains that creep up at the end of a pregnancy are definitely keeping me (and my amazing family who is picking up my slack around the house these days) from being in denial much longer.

I've had some drama – just not me or baby related. There have been some major issues with the doctors and midwives I've chosen – some medical major issues (like, they prescribed drugs that have been highly warned against by the FDA) and some office billing related issues resulting in 60+ hours of phone time to straighten out.

So I'm going to see a practice for the first time this week – at 37 weeks, 3 days – and I'm really thinking they're gonna be the ones to help me with this baby. At this point, I don't think I'll find time to switch around again anyway? So if they don't measure up, I may just go back to the idea of having this baby on the subway system.

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Now that the doctor issue is sorta feeling settled in my mind, I feel like I can focus on other things – like a baby’s room. This is another thing that has been put off. Mainly because I didn’t want to go through the pain of taking it down in case baby never makes it here? There’s no reason to think that would happen – except for my heart telling me constantly that it could happen.

The baby’s crib just may stay in the garage until he’s a couple months old.

I’ve even put off things like a birth plan. I remember spending hours and hours and hours on Kyle’s. Every scenario was planned out minute by minute. Every detail was thought through. It was more intense than my wedding. I think the idea of writing out anything birth plan related, which would force me to think through every single bit of a normal natural birth is a bit much to take in. I always get to a blank white space when I get to the part about the baby being born. Like I almost can’t imagine it?

But then – after all that. I have diapers and wipes. So maybe I’m not too much in denial. 🙂

Our girls are extremely excited. Whenever I leave, I get goodbye kisses and so does my tummy. When I return, I get hello kisses and so does my tummy. 🙂

Their hope and excitement keeps many of my fears at bay these days.

People send us baby gifts. The girls open them. Sometimes try them on. Or, I should say, try to try them on.

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I think a big part of this struggle comes from not having my support team around me. Being in a new place, new doctors (I haven’t even met yet!) with no family anywhere remotely close by – it’s hard to think about doing my second hardest birth  without those people around? It’s really forced me to start thinking about what I really need to be happy. And keeping Christ center focus in my mind. Otherwise I crumble pretty fast and hard.

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Something that’s been kinda instrumental to me in recent days has been this awesome journal?! I’ve filled journals throughout our married life for our kids. They’ve been great for me to hash out feelings and learnings – but plain and without much direction. This is exactly what I’ve needed though, these days, to keep things in focus for me when nothing else seems to be in focus, really.

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There’s still lots of freedom – you choose your own passages to read, but it gives some great structure when that may be your struggling point.

I have two of these lovelies in pink to give away! So as a thank you for sticking with me through this pregnancy as long as I have been in this pregnancy, jump in on this giveaway?

And sign up for my email updates up there in the corner for an entry? (Hint, email subscribers will be the first to get the baby news…the blog may take a bit.)

Earn a second entry by including your favorite encouraging verse for me and everyone else who stops by here. Trust me, I need these!

 

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Also – any of you looking to order one of these for yourself, in pink, blue, or gray, there’s a great sale going on right now – use the promo code “totallyawesome” and get 25% off your order, bringing these journals to just $9.72 + shipping ($12.32 total)!!!

 

(Disclosure: I was given a couple of these to use myself and give away if I liked them. I DID! So all opinions are my own. Seriously. you’ll love these as much as I do.)

 

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About Kim

I am a sinner, miraculously saved by grace, living by faith, and pressing toward the mark of being more like Christ. I absolutely love being a stay-at-home mom! I'm also a caterer for a few weddings throughout the year, a baker, and a party planner. And I love to play in other people's kitchens as well as my own! My husband, Chris, just finished his studies for his MA degree in Pastoral Studies. He's a wonderful (and super smart!) daddy - and the most loving and supportive husband. My two beautiful daughters, Chloe and Kami, are the joys of our lives! We pray that they both would be greatly used of the Lord. Throughout their short time here on earth, we have learned so much about ourselves, our God, and the gratefulness we have towards our own parents, who raised us in the ways of God's Word. Our third unborn child is a blessing as well - even after its recent pre-diagnosis of Trisomy 18, or Edwards Syndrome. This blog has kinda turned into a little journal of sorts of our dark journey down this rather uncommon road. I stay busy cooking, cleaning, gardening, and raising the plants I killed back to life, and homeschooling. I blog when get the chance. :) We are always happy to have visitors, so please stop by anytime! Although, if you do give us a call first, we'll make sure to have some fresh cookies and sweet tea available when you arrive!

22 responses »

  1. These journals look awesome!! I may just order one either way. 😮 I’m already an e-mail subscriber. 😉 I’ve been sitting in Romans recently and I’m always drawn back to chapter 8, especially the end. “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39, NASB). There’s a huge amount of truth and strength in these two short verses. Absolutely nothing can take us away from the love of our God. How incredible is that?! We serve a God that is mighty, powerful, and loving, even when we’re floundering. These verses compel me to worship every time I read them.

  2. Kim everything is going to be ok. God is now giving you beauty for ashes. You have been faithful and he loves you so much. Please know this and that the gift of this baby is also his love for you.

    Date: Mon, 27 Jul 2015 17:18:32 +0000 To: jmishler88@hotmail.com

  3. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.”
    ‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭29:11-14‬ ‭ESV‬‬
    http://bible.com/59/jer.29.11-14.esv

  4. I’d love to win one of the journals!! I became a subscriber 🙂 I have never commented on your blog but I enjoy following — I found you I think through a baby loss search at one time, as I miscarried a few years ago and the only thing that got me through was reading from other mamas. God bless your family — my favorite verse hangs about my oldest daughter’s bed, who has Cystic Fibrosis and I need the reminder often…it’s a popular verse I know but the words still hit me – “For I know the plans I have for you…” Jeremiah 29:11

    • Brynn – I’m so glad you said something! I’m so sorry for your loss – but I’m glad there were mamas ahead of you on the same road as there were for me. Love and hugs to you and your little one.

      >

  5. Hi Kim! I would love to win one of those journals! And, I subscribed to your newsletter. ;). I’ve been following you for a while now–through your sad, and now, happy news! Rejoicing with you at this normal, healthy, FULA-TERM pregnancy! Can’t wait to see pics of the new little mister! Here is a favorite verse: Zephaniah 3:17. The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” Blessings!

  6. Psalm 16:8 I have set The Lord always before me. I will not be moved.
    Enjoy following you! Feel free to send the journal! 😊

  7. “Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.”
    ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭103:1-5‬ ‭ESV‬‬

  8. 1 Corinthians 15:51–an ironic passage.

    We shall all not sleep but we shall all be changed.

    Philippians 1:6
    Being confident of this very thing that He who hath begun a great work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.

    Cannot wait to see baby things!!!

  9. Thank you for the cute pic of the towel! I love that the girls love it.
    My verse for you is Luke 1:37.
    Please rest the peace knowing that even if you have him on the subway (lol) it will be exactly as it should. My prayers are with you daily!

  10. I have always found comfort in Psalm 23, but this passage became even more precious after the death of my father 8 years ago as we recited it at the graveside service. Much love to you and your family. Keeping you in our prayers. Angie B

  11. Hi Kim, I’m so happy for you and your precious family! The verse that has encouraged me the most in my life is

    Isaiah 26:4 “Trust ye in the Lord forever, for in the Lord JEHOVAH is everlasting strength.”

    I cannot wait to see pictures of this baby boy and the joy in your daughters faces ❤ I’ll be praying for you in these next few weeks as you prepare for his arrival!

  12. right now my favorite verse is Ps 138:8 “The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands.” But it changes almost weekly. 🙂 That journal looks awesome. Thinking about ordering one either way and a few for friends 🙂 Miss you! Wish I could be there when Baby C is born

  13. One of my favorite encouraging passages is Isaiah 43. “When you pass through the waters I will be with you”, etc. Doesn’t promise no trouble, but God’s presence in the middle of that trouble. My high school history teacher pointed me to that passage years ago when I was overwhelmed during college. 5 months ago, his wife, (my high school choir director, violin teacher, and one of my closest friends) passed away at the age of 39. This is the last passage she read to her children the night before she died. It has been encouraging and sustaining to us all. My family and I have prayed for you since Kyle, and we’re excited to see this little one!

  14. An encouraging verse…? Hmmm this isn’t really a verse but something that was said in a blessing given to me when I really needed it. I’ve never forgotten it and I always keep it close to my heart: “Do not let the thoughtless words and actions of others hurt you at anytime, knowing that your Father in Heaven loves you”.

    This has gotten me through many bad days! ❤
    ~Nori

  15. It may be too late to enter the contest, but I wanted to share a favorite verse with you.

    “So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
    I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
    Isaiah 41:10 NIV

    I signed up for the e-mail, but in the interest of full disclosure we are distantly related. I met your sweet mom at a King Reunion a few years ago. I became her FB friend and prayed for you all during Kyle’s pregnancy and birth, and also throughout your husband’s surgery.

    I am praying for you as you deliver this sweet boy. I especially pray that you are comfortable with your new doctor. That can really make a difference. But how nice to know that God is holding you no matter who delivers this baby. God bless you, sweet girl.

    Sue King Speir

  16. Joshua 1:9 “Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

    Thanks for the giveaway!

  17. Pingback: Week 38: An anticipation and a Kyle Memory |

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