Homeschool Co-op Day | Day 27

So there’s this one memory I have of our home before our last one – in West Virginia.

Chris and I had been married a few weeks; Election Day was around the corner. And the President was coming to town!

So we decided to head down to the local highschool (one of two total in the town) and pile into the football stadium with everyone else.

Some country music was playing; most everyone was in good spirits. And camo.

Right before the President walked out in the center of the field, the crowd broke out into song – the loudest, yet reverent, most passionate I’ve ever heard a football stadium full of people sing.

It was as if John Denver was singing about the country roads in person right along with everyone else.

We didn’t know the song, but felt this sense of due diligence to learn it quickly so we could fit in.

A similar moment happened to Kami and I today.

In our homeschool Co Op, I get to teach the 5 and 6 year olds. Today we talked a bit about birds.

So here I was feeling all super teacher-ish setting up the best bird scene I could. Complete with some bird soundtracks playing from the trees. Like the sounds were coming from the trees! I mean, really.

Then the kids came in and colored some pictures. And hung them in the trees. All under the sounds of exotic rain forest birds. And the swaying branches (from the AC vents) of fake church trees.

My word they were all practically growing feathers and wings right there in all this authentic-ness.

Then I pulled out a Waldorf style tray of bird beak-ish tools. To demonstrate my knowledge of all things bird beak-ish of course. (Trust me, this is going somewhere….)

The kids got to see how different beaks make eating different kinds of foods possible. And they got to eat a few sunflower seeds and goldfish crackers.

For each type of beak, I had a photo on the iPad for the kids to see the real life illustrations of each of the beak types.

Even Woody Woodpecker made an appearance.

See. What a lesson!

Then, we get to the birds with tearing beaks.

“Here’s the example, kids! It’s an eagle! This is America’s nation….”

And the kids all broke out into song. Passionate. Reverent. Harmonious. Five year olds. Without prompting or cuing. Straight up.

“FLY EAGLES FLY…..”

I stared.

Then tried three times to regain control. So I gave up.

And grabbed my camera for the last few seconds.

Didn’t even know they had a song. <— said in my best southern accent

Even teachers learn new things.

I guess you don’t mess with the Eagles.

___________________________________

This post is part of a 31 day series called Fall in Philadelphia. If this is your first stop along the way, I am so glad you’re here and I hope today’s post brought you a little warmth and coziness. This journey is best taken from the very beginning as each day’s posts are pretty much *live* as I’m living a journey of leaving the deep South (my entire life!) and jumping into the big city. All of the blog posts in this series will be linked together on the Fall in Philadelphia landing page. Click here to be taken there.  Thanks for stopping by!

Date night – live blogging | Day 20

So I’m 36 days new to the area – but my mom’s here for the week – so we are going on a date night.

And I thought for tonight’s post, I’d live blog it.

Partly because I’m currently sitting on a train taking me from my twin in the outer city limits 40 minutes into the center city area. And people do stuff on their phones on these trains. A girl’s gotta fit in when she can.

So here we go…

So we stop at his work. Like just to see the lobby.

Then we walk outside. Hello philly nighttime. It’s seriously inspiring.

So we walk to find a restaurant – like something not too pricey. Soup and sandwiches would be good. This place wasn’t it. Too bad. I’m all about good food. But the $95 dry aged ribeye wasn’t on my radar tonight. The tables outside were almost worth the $95 ribeye though.

We walked a bit further. Then found this British place.

And now I’m eating this.

Fish and chips for the man of the house. And I’m settling in nice and cozy like with a vegetarian spinach and mushroom cobbler dish that just seems to be heavenly. With the slightest hints of nutmeg, of course it is.

Being the crazy energy-filled-on-Monday-night people that we are, we seem to have found our favorite date night spot….I’ll update if it really in fact is…

Oh wait!

I think it is!!

This is where we party.

These are the books that make me slap my grandma.

I settled on a favorite for awhile.
Then I always leave it behind for another crazy food loving girl like me.

Then we walk back and I see this. It made me laugh.

One more stop at the workplace. I can’t believe how awesome this place is – just the lobby itself is so cool
on so many levels.

And from here – it’s back on our train for the ride home. Thanks for joining in the fun!

Forget Me Not

To my child & grand children in heaven,  

I can’t wait to see you and I am so thankful for the chance to hold our precious Kyle!

Love Susan (Kim’s mom)

_______________________________________________________________________

Kim,
I cherish that Kyle is a part of my life.  God has blessed me in so many ways just by your path and my path crossing. I am forever thankful to know Baby Kyle, you, and your wonderful family.
Love you!
Jen

(The ultrasound nurse who performed all 20 or so ultrasounds – and gave us some of the best photos I’ve ever seen a tech pull off. And hundreds of hours of video footage to cherish forever.)

To those whose mothers were grieving so hard they couldn’t muster the strength to say what they wanted here:

You are loved. Every single day.

To Sam. And Catherine. And to my precious Kyle, whose birth time stands still on this clock. As my entire world stood still that cold day in December. 

You are loved by your sisters here, your dad, and me. I can’t count the days until I see you again. But I can make the days until that day of our meeting count.  I love you. I always will. 

Love, Mom

_________________________________________

I remember.

– a sweet mother, aunt, and friend in South Carolina

____________________________________________

There simply aren’t enough candles……I’m remembering Baby Kyle and you and so many other babies and their parents and families.  I have been blessed by so many and I am forever thankful.
♡ Jen

____________________________________________________

The 6 candles we lit tonight are in memory of the four waiting for us, plus the two God has blessed us with here; our precious boys, Caleb and Josiah.

“Miss you everyday
Miss you in every way
But we know there’s a day when we will hold you
We will hold you
You’ll kiss our tears away
When we’re home to stay
Can’t wait for the day when we will see you
We will see you
But, baby, let sweet Jesus hold you til mom and dad can hold you….
You’ll just have Heaven before we do
You’ll just have Heaven before we do”

____________________________________________________________

This is for my son – Nate

Choosing Joy,

Penny

_____________________________________________

To my sweet baby,
On June 13th, we said goodbye to you at only 11 weeks. It is difficult not being able to see you grow into a beautiful child but we know it was part of God’s plan. We love you!
– Mommy, Daddy, and big brother in California

____________________________________________

To our precious babies,
January 24, 2014… our lives were changed forever as you left this earth to meet Jesus. We love you so much little one & miss you every day. We know your great-grandparents are loving having you in heaven… we will see you soon.
July 9, 2014… Little one, we so longed to hold you in our arms. We prayed for you, asking God to sustain your life, but He had different plans. We know you’re enjoying heaven with your big sister. We love you so much & can’t wait to hold you in our arms one day… until then rest in the arms of Jesus.
Love,
Mommy & Daddy in Missouri

_____________________________________________

I didn’t get to see the first two babies I lost, but I did get to see my third, a week before I lost him (do not know the gender for sure, I just *felt* he would have been a “he”), in a moment of grief I decided not to keep those ultrasound pictures, a decision I regret now. But a friend made me this and I always keep my angel babies close to my heart!

– a beautiful mother not too far away

____________________________________________

For my nieces and/or nephews that I will only meet in heaven.

– Janna in South Carolina

_______________________________________________

April 3, 2014

“You are my first baby.  The one I waited 3 years for.  I knew you were with me for 8 hours.  I went to sleep with my hands holding you, and your daddy gave you kiss.  Although we lost you that following morning, I will never ever ever forget how much joy I had for those precious few hours knowing that you were the first person to give me the title, ‘mom’.”

– Rebecca in Georgia

____________________________________________

 In remembrance of little Kyle, and all the little babies everywhere.

– a sweet friend  

______________________________________________

Kyle’s Candle

– Sara June in Michigan

__________________________________________________

Remembering on this day and always:

Colt Nathan Galyean – Born into Heaven on October 25, 1990

Talerie Paige Galyean – Born into Heaven on December 28, 1991

Olivia Grace Galyean – Went to Heaven 8 hours after birth on September 27, 1999.

– Rhonda in WV

_____________________________________________

Today we will light a candle for our Grayson Paul and our precious little one we never got to meet – but whom Dalton calls Landon. (That’s one of the names we had picked and Dalton suggested that’s what we should name our little bean.)

All I ever wanted to be was a wife and a mommy. I am so very thankful for our three beautiful babies God has blessed us with to take care of on this earth. It’s been 8 years since we held Grayson in our arms but I think of him every day, several times a day. He’s never far from my mind.Sometimes, I will look at all three of the kids doing something sweet together and I immediately think of him. What would he have been like? Would he have been a lot like Dalton? But then I remember God has a plan. I know Grayson & Landon are being well taken care of. And I know they aren’t alone. They have so many little friends there, even a few cousins, and some amazing grandparents.

To my friends who have experienced this kind of loss, I’m sorry you, too, have had to go through losing a child. I’m praying for you today and sending extra hugs. It is a loss that no one else completely understands unless they have been through it.

Know that you are not alone.

– Mary in West Virginia

__________________________________________

For sweet little Aldora Baelie (“winged one”, “before all others”). Your Mommy is still hurting so deeply. But she loves you. And protects even your memory with the fiercest passion in her heart.

– Kim from Kimzkitchen posted for little Aldora’s beautiful mother, Anna in South Carolina

__________________________________________________

 

To Karis Elizabeth Schubert,

Here is the candle I lit for you. My son was a year old and I was told that it was a miracle that I conceived and carried him. I was shocked and thrilled to become pregnant! The weekend before my first appointment, I lost you. Our pain was so deep. We had not told anyone yet and it was too painful to explain after that. My husband and I carried that pain for well over a year before we were even able to tell our families and others. It will be 6 years ago this next month. I look forward to the day I am reunited with you, my sweet child. I have no idea whether you are a boy or girl. My feelings always were that you are a girl. 

– from your lovely mother Beth in New York

_________________________________________________

To add your own memory to this post, click here for the details. The post will continually update throughout the evening.

Remembering Kyle in Philadelphia | Day 14

Special Update on 10/15/14: There’s a virtual memorial service going on here at Kimzkitchen beginning at 7 PM (EST) See the info at the end of this post, or click here to get all the details. It’s a special day. Because the babies are all special. 

We had a service for Kyle. A memorial service a few weeks after his birth into Heaven to celebrate his 220 days with us. After that service, the nearly 250 people in attendance formed a sort of impromptu receiving line. I had spent the last hour or so thinking about my little guy dancing on Heaven’s streets. I was on a supernatural high from everyone’s prayers for me. But the thought of greeting every one of those people became overwhelming to me. My girls were tired. The physical and emotional strain of all the pomp and circumstance was getting to them. We had friends who had traveled far to be with us that day and were looking forward to crashing with them over dinner. The long line of people stretched pretty far.

But you know something? Women began sharing their stories. Men began sharing their stories. A lady from my church in her late sixties said to me, “I lost a baby at birth forty years ago. They took the baby from me in that small hospital room. I never saw him. We never talked about him. Today, I came to grieve with you. But today, I began healing. You’re the first person I’m telling this story to. Thank you for letting me heal.”

The stories continued. And I was humbled to be a part of them. Some babies had names. Some didn’t. Some babies were looked at by their mothers. Some weren’t even (allowed to be) touched. But no matter what parts of our story matched, we had something in common. We were all grieving, and, because we were able to share, we were all healing.

The thing is, death does sting. It hurts. It’s awful. But that sting isn’t going to be forever. One day there will be an amazing victory over sin. One so amazing that death will not sting any more.

I can’t wait for that day.

Tomorrow is day of grief, healing, remembering, and sharing. It will be a day that will sting for many women. Some will talk about it. Some won’t.

Tomorrow is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day.

This is a big day for me. And for Jenna. And for Hanna. And little Allie’s Mom. And so many others. Including some who are very close to my heart.

Not a single day goes by that I don’t think about my little Kyle. Or Sam, or Catherine, the other two we lost before Kyle.  And there’s not a single mom out there who has lost a baby who doesn’t think of their little ones.

Tomorrow is a day that others are a little more open to hearing about them. Share your stories. Light your candle at 7PM tomorrow night. Even if you’re the only one who knows what it’s for. It’s ok  good to remember. It’s good to grieve. It’s the only way you can heal. It’s good to share.

_____________________________________________________________
Thanks to my friend, Tammy, over at Perinatal Comfort Care, I was able to get the support I needed. And not only me – but also my girls. And my husband. We were all taken care of in our own special way.  I had help with formulating my care plan, delivering that to the doctors and nurses who would be over my care, and creating keepsakes that I hold on to so dearly.

If you know of someone who is in the middle of a pregnancy with a terminal diagnosis, the best gift you can give them is to introduce them to Perinatal Comfort Care. 

And join me tonight night at 7 PM? I have readers all over the world. We can have a candle burning a flame of rememberance for most of the day. And when you light that candle, say a prayer for those mothers who are grieving their losses. Not just tomorrow, but everyday. I’ll be putting together a virtual memorial service for anyone who would like to participate. Send me your photos of candles, babies, moms, ultrasounds. Or just short memories or just names. You can comment here or email me at kimzkitchen@gmail.com – i’m happy to include them in my post that will go live tonight at 7 PM (EST). If you can’t get it in by then, no worries, I’ll be updating the post throughout the evening. I’ll look forward to hearing from you. ❤

Free Fun Friday | Day 10

So here’s a few shots of our free fun Friday here in Philadephia. In the Fall. So, to keep things alliterated…

Free Fun Friday in Fall in Philadelphia.

Oh yeah, baby.

Fly Eagles Fly.

Ok, sorry.  It’s getting to me, ya’ll.

So today, we went out to explore a bit of our city – a tad further out of the city – there’s this precious little town that I think I’ll fall in love with. It’s so much like my hometown Greenville; I feel the two of us will get along really well.

So then there’s this. The Jenkintown Library. For our family, the library is pretty much like a second school room. Being without a library card and library books in the house for almost a month now has been strange, at best. But when we saw this gorgeous building, on the National Registry of Historical Places, we had to stop in.  This library is older than the town it resides in!

The portrait above the fireplace is the father of the home’s original owner, who donated the house to the Library Society in 1803. The home’s owner was the painter.

As we walked in the door to this 220+ year old home, we saw this sign.

Walls up the staircase were laden with gorgeous paintings of children’s novels – Robin Hood and Peter Pan stood out to my girls as the favorites. Then we walked through the door at the top of the stairs, and found this.

*The* most magical library I’ve ever seen. And definitely the quietest.

While there is (I’ve heard!) a super new, fun, glitzy library nearby that is much larger with a larger selection of items, my girls only want to visit this one for the next little while. The small town charm is just unmatched.

So, if you’re spending any time this fall in Philadelphia, you need to go check out this library for some free fun. On a Friday. 🙂

Doesn’t this make you just wanna go grab a book and curl up by the window right now?

So, question for you – what’s favorite children’s books should I definitely have on our to read list (once our library card goes through)?

_________________________________________

This post is part of a 31 day series called Fall in Philadelphia. If this is your first stop along the way, I am so glad you’re here and I hope today’s post brought you a little warmth and coziness. This journey is best taken from the very beginning.  Each day’s posts are pretty much *live* as I’m living a journey of leaving the deep South (my entire life!) and jumping into the big city. All of the blog posts in this series will be linked together on the Fall in Philadelphia landing page. Click here to be taken there.  Thanks for stopping by!

Walks to the Mailbox | Day 9

We found a mailbox today. Because Chloe has a birthday coming up. And she made a new friend this week. So, we had to send her an invitation. Naturally.

(First time I’ve ever done a bday party with no-named-invitations. She’s been carrying around ten unnamed invites all week passing them out to whomever she meets. And whomever she thinks would be good for her party. And no offense if you’re reading this, in Philadelphia, and you didn’t get one. It’s not because she thinks you would *not* be good for the party. It’s because she forgot about her party for that moment she saw you. Lots on her mind these days. Like turning eight.)

Our houses don’t have mailboxes. So we took a walk today to find one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This post is part of a 31 day series called Fall in Philadelphia. If this is your first stop along the way, I am so glad you’re here and I hope today’s post brought you a little warmth and coziness. This journey is best taken from the very beginning as each day’s posts are pretty much *live* as I’m living a journey of leaving the deep South (my entire life!) and jumping into the big city. All of the blog posts in this series will be linked together on the Fall in Philadelphia landing page. Click here to be taken there.  Thanks for stopping by!

 

 

Hope in the dark |Day 8

{So this post has nothing to do with Philadelphia really. But my heart. And it’s growth. And my heart right now lives in Philadelphia. So I guess it fits? While I tend to stay away from trending topics, this one hasn’t left my mind since I first read of Brittany’s story. While I would never feel qualified to offer advice to Brittany personally or cast judgement or opinions privately, I hope that others who read here who also face difficult circumstances will be able to grasp the true heart behind my words. There is always hope. Sometimes there isn’t much else. But with God, there is always hope. Always. )

Today, my heart has been so heavy with my own small inconsequential hardships. No dishwasher. Dealing with old pipes (for the 5th time in two weeks). Missing my friends.  Homeschooling another year with a child suffering with a severe auditory processing disorder.

Then I read about a gorgeous young woman named Brittany. Who has it way worse than I ever have. Yes, my husband had a massive brain tumor. But no, it wasn’t cancer.

Then I read about another gorgeous young woman named Kara. Who has brain cancer as well. And four small children.

And hope.

 

See, in a weird, distant way, I get Brittany’s thoughts. She’s choosing for herself to end her own life, when she can, November 1st actually, in a way that seems peaceful to her.  She’s doing this to avoid the horrors that the end of stage 4 brain cancer will bring her.

 

I sorta get it. Because I had to choose that as well. Not for myself, but for sweet little Kyle.  We were told that should he survive delivery, he would die hours, minutes later. And his death would not be comfortable at all.  If we chose to continue his life, we also had to choose what to do in that situation. Whether to feed him or not feed him. Either one would lead to his death. We could also choose to end his life, in utero, while he was comfortable. He would know only love. And never experience pain. And while that would be excruciatingly painful for me and would follow me to my grave, it was my way of taking the place of my son. Taking his pain on in order to spare him.  Choosing his comfort in the present over the unknown suffering of his future.

 

And while I don’t truly get what Brittany’s going through at all, I can’t get these thoughts out of my head today. As my husband and I sat in silence and watched her video last night, all I could say was,

“But. God.”

 

Because in the midst of our choices for our Kyle, that was the thing that kept us from choosing “death with dignity” for him. Sure, that would be certain. And at that time in our lives, the unknown was so big and large and scary, that anything certain was comforting. Even a death date.

 

But while my fear was larger than a mountain, I knew that God would be there in that scary dark place when the time came. He had to be.

I remember a conversation I had with my sister a few days before my son’s death. “Are you scared?” she asked.

“Yeah, I’m scared. I’m scared I’ll stop believing. I have to believe that God is with me. If I don’t, I’ll lose it. I’ll lose everything. That’s all I have.” I answered.

So if dear Brittany does not know God, I get it. She has nothing else. And going into that unknown on her own would be unbearable.  It was hard enough for me to do it with my Kyle. I couldn’t do it with myself. I’ll never judge her. Or look down on her for this decision. It could seem to be her only option. But if only Brittany could see the love of all those who are desperately wanting her to stay as long as God would allow. It’s there.  And perhaps “allowing us to care for those that are dying is a greater gift than believing your suffering is a burden we shouldn’t bear.” (Rob Kirkpatrick, friend of Kara)

Kara prayed for her today. And I prayed for her today. Sitting on the couch; when I was washing the dishes (I forgot how upset I was yesterday about not having a dishwasher), wiping up puddles of water under the sink and wiping tears out of my own eyes, I prayed for Brittany. That God would find her so she could know Him. So she would have hope.

 

 

Siri, the Relocation Assistant {not so much} | Day 7

There’s this thing about moving. Not being able to find stuff.  You know, like, the toilet paper.  But we have that now. And only 5 boxes or so left to go. So this is good!

Except some of Kami’s little toys are missing. So she took to Siri for help.

“Siri? Do you know where a toy store is where I can buy some Sofia dolls?

“I found a few toy stores fairly close to you.”

>She jumps up and down – hair bouncing in the air – “MOMMY! SHE FOUND SOME TOY STORES CLOSE TO ME! CAN WE GO RIGHT NOW?” I said, “Not now, kiddo. We’ve got some schoolwork to finish up. We’re just gonna have to find them.”<

“Siri? How many minutes to get to the toy store. My Mommy said we have to finish school first then we can go. So how many minutes to the toy store.”

“Let me check this on the web. Here’s what I found.” 

>She brings up search results for “nearby schools”.<

“Uggggh! No, Siri. Not schools. Sofia. SOFIA SOFIA SOFIA. I need my Sofia toys.”

“I’m sorry Chris, I can’t look for places in Bulgaria.”

“Siri? This is my last hope. Ok. We had two Sofia dolls and we can’t find them in the purple bag. Do you know where somebody put them when we moved to philadelphia?”

“I’m sorry I don’t know where Bulldogs games are having purple mash, Chris.”

“UGGH! I’m NOT CHRIS! Oh I think I have failed.”

“That is an interesting question, Chris.”

>She gives me back the phone. Completely dejected. Then picks it up again.<

“Mommy? I think I’ll give her three more hopes.”

This post is part of a 31 day series called Fall in Philadelphia. If this is your first stop along the way, I am so glad you’re here and I hope today’s post brought you a little warmth and coziness. This journey is best taken from the very beginning.  Each day’s posts are pretty much *live* as I’m living a journey of leaving the deep South (my entire life!) and jumping into the big city. All of the blog posts in this series will be linked together on the Fall in Philadelphia landing page. Click here to be taken there.  Thanks for stopping by!

The country girls – who’ve gone to the city – go to the country | Day 6

Because that makes sense right?

It has been a tad exhausting trying to figure things out in every single situation. Even in our house, trying to find the toilet paper was a tough mental task for a few days. And when you have to cook three meals a day in a tiny kitchen…full of boxes…it’s like playing life size Jenga every time you want some cinnamon.

First, pick up one box from a tall stack, then move it to another stack.  Open the next one labeled “kitchen”, find the toilet paper (that was cushioning your stand mixer), yell a “Hallelujah!” and run the toilet paper upstairs.  Come back to the kitchen, and find another unopened box. Then forget what you were looking for in the first place. <—- True story.

Finding something that feels “normal” for each one of us has been important. For Chris, the Eagles games and fans have been just fine.  For me, walking through a Costco felt like home. For Kami…we’re still looking for her thing. But for Chloe, who has a challenging time with change…this weekend concert was just the ticket.

Bonuses to Suzuki violin instruction, all the teachers teach the same songs, the same way. And all the kids play the same songs the same way. So jumping into a concert at a Pumpkin Patch wasn’t a problem. And we happened to meet a great teacher to start lessons with!

Next up is another concert at the end of the month downtown (gulp! Better get the parallel parking down by then!) at the Kimmel Center. Hosted by the Philadelphia Symphony Orchestra!?!?!

This post is part of a 31 day series called Fall in Philadelphia. If this is your first stop along the way, I am so glad you’re here and I hope today’s post brought you a little warmth and coziness. This journey is best taken from the very beginning as each day’s posts are pretty much *live* as I’m living a journey of leaving the deep South (my entire life!) and jumping into the big city. All of the blog posts in this series will be linked together on the Fall in Philadelphia landing page. Click here to be taken there.  Thanks for stopping by!

Before the mountains were born | Day 5

Today, I spent some time really reflecting on life and death. And the One who holds it all.

Psalm 90 ~

Before the mountains were brought forth,

or ever you had formed the earth and the world,

from everlasting to everlasting…

you are God.

 

You…

return man to dust

and say, “Return, O children of man!”

For a thousand years in your sight

are but as yesterday when it is past,

or as a watch in the night.

 

You…

 sweep them away as with a flood; they are like a dream,

like grass that is renewed in the morning:

in the morning it flourishes and is renewed;

in the evening it fades and withers.

 

So teach us to number our days

that we may get a heart of wisdom.

Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love,

that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.

Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,

and for as many years as we have seen evil.

Let your work be shown to your servants,

and your glorious power to their children.

Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us,

and establish the work of our hands upon us;

yes, establish the work of our hands!

 

This week, friends, no matter what your calling, what your job, who you’re serving….”let God work through your work.”*

Because our days are too short to do nothing.

Have a beautiful week!

 

*(Taken from this sermon we heard at church this morning.)